tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

I shouldn’t have done it. I knew better. But I just had to, I couldn’t help myself. And now I am paying for it.

It was awful. God, how it was awful. It was even worse than I thought it would be.

What is it, you ask? What is this atrocity I forced myself to endure for 20 long seconds?

It was an iTunes sample of Jessica Simpson’s cover of “Let Him Fly”.

Now, to say I love the original version of this song by Patty Griffin would be a bit of an understatement. I mean, I have some of the lyrics tattooed on my back. This song saved me. And to now hear it like this…it breaks my heart just a little.

Alright, so Jessica said it helped her through her breakup, and I’m sure she just had to record it because it meant so much to her. But did she have to butcher it so completely??

It reminds me of when that one chic covered “32 Flavors” by Ani, and then the whole world thought that that atrocious version was actually how the song was supposed to sound – and that was a large portion of mainstream America’s introduction to Ani. Blech.

Please, do yourselves a favor. Go listen to the ORIGINAL version of “Let Him Fly” by Patty Griffin. And then NEVER EVER EVER taint your ears with Miss Simpson’s version!!

Save yourself the pain!

So, a hurricane is scheduled to hit Florida riiiiight around the time I am supposed to fly home. Thank you fate, may I have another?

On another travel related note, the plane that crashed in Kentucky has been constantly in my thoughts. I can’t stop thinking about all the victims’ families. My heart and prayers go out to them. It’s so awful. And my worst nightmare. I am glad that when Aaron travels, I am usually with him, so I don’t have to constantly be afraid of something happening when I am not there. Although I still get nervous every time he rides his motorcycle to work. Of course, me travelling to FL every week kind of screws with that whole thought process. Ugh I don’t want to fly for work anymore!!

Everyone in Tampa sucks at driving. S-U-C-K-S. And it’s not just the old people, either. Everyone drives like a moron. I can’t even talk about it more because it just irritates me. Getting around every day is an adventure. And not a good one.

Tampa also has the best tomatoes I’ve ever eaten in my life. Bahama Breeze sells a tomato salad that is to die for. For a special treat, order the tomatoes and the portobella and goat cheese pizza, combine the two, and die of ecstasy.

I think the tomatoes is just about all Tampa has going for it, really. It is going to be a long 3 months.

Yes, this is exactly how I feel about Aaron, my love.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
So I love you because I know no other way

Than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
So close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
So close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

~Pablo Neruda, XVII

My sister told me she had sent me a package as a kind of wedding present. She tried to downplay it, saying it was just a picture. I work in Tampa during the week and just got home tonight and opened it.

It’s a huge black and white photo from my sister’s wedding, taken when I was about 15. It’s a picture taken inside the limo of me pinning a boutonniere on my dad. It’s a beautiful photo. But more special because my dad passed away about 4 years after that photo was taken; her wedding was the last time he was really healthy. He was able to walk her down the aisle, although he said that his back nearly gave out right before he started the procession. I remember him saying that, and that being the last time his back actually held up. Shortly after that his health started to decline rapidly.

It’s so nice to have a good photo of him taken when he was still healthy, and me with him. I have a picture on the fridge taken 4 days before he died, and the difference is shocking.

I can’t get over how thoughtful it was of her. It makes me tear up just looking at it, especially since he won’t be at my wedding, walking me down the aisle.

So thoughtful. The good family moments always outweigh the not so good ones.

Everytime Aaron and I are in the car together and I play one of the songs that are going to be in our wedding ceremony I point it out, mostly so he won’t be surprised when he hears them. Every now and then a song will come on that we joke that we should have as one of our wedding songs…

Like how I should walk down the aisle to “Doncha wish your girlfriend was hot like me” and we should close out the reception with “Too drunk to f*ck”.

Most likely we won’t play those songs, but you never know. The DJ doesn’t speak a lot of English so I just hope I remember to remove those songs from the playlist!

I’m mentally exhausted. I like a challenge, but learning 5 new technologies at warp speed eventually takes its toll. At least I don’t have to work this weekend.

And there is nothing going on in Tampa. Repeat, nothing. Although they do know how to make a good margarita, and they have some good mexican food.

I skipped out on seeing Ricky Bobby with the team tonight since I want to see it with Aaron this weekend. There’s something to be said for team building, but also something to be said for watching what is sure to be a fantastic movie with the love of your life.

I’ve been watching Miami Ink a lot lately, and it kind of makes me want another tattoo, but there is no place I would really want one and nothing I can think of to get. Of course, I have several tattoos in mind in case one of the several tragic events which I can’t stop thinking about happen, but if I’m lucky I will never need to get one of those.

During this show, and maybe it’s because it IS a show, all the people getting tattooed talk a lot before and during the tattoo. The artist gets to know what inspired the tattoo, and there is a lot of conversation during the tattooing process.

My experience wasn’t at all like that. I had picked the place when Kim and I went camping in Maine, and then flew back there to get my tattoo. I had emailed my design to the artist there, and I think I told him it was song lyrics, but that was it. During the hour and a half tattoo we really didn’t speak at all. Which was fine by me, I wasn’t very chatty at that point. But it just shows a contrast between my experience and other people’s.

We bought our wedding bands today at Quest Jewelers. I can’t wait to wear mine, it is so pretty. Aaron went more traditional. We were thinking of getting a Mokume Gane ring for him, but in the end it was so expensive and you have to treat it really well. If he forgets to take if off and wears it to the gym, it will get totally destroyed. But they are so gorgeous. It’s an ancient Japanese art, used in the handle of samurai swords, and not that many people are trained in how to create them. Maybe for our five year anniversary I’ll get him one.

But that’s yet one more thing checked off the list in the wedding planning scheme.

Now we can wait for the RSVP’s to roll in!

Phew, the wedding invitations are done! They will go out tomorrow. Unfortunately the international invitees will have to come up with their own postage for the response cards.

It’s really starting to feel real that we’re getting married. Every time I imagine walking down the aisle and saying my vows, I start to get all emotional and teary. Partly because my dad won’t be walking me down the aisle – and I am scared of that causing an emotional breakdown – as well as actually getting married to my love. I don’t know if I can write my own vows – it will be hard enough to get through honor and obey without completely baring my heart and soul.

Which brings me to another point, music. I’m trying to compile a playlist for the cocktail hour and reception. Kim is also trying to come up with some songs.

So, if you have any good suggestions for either, please let me know!