tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

I miss the ‘drop-by’. You know, when someone was in the neighborhood and they would just drop-by and see if you were home. In high school this happened all the time to my brother and me. Maybe because we didn’t lock our door…. but anyway. My brother had two friends who basically lived at our house – Ryan, and Big Bad Billy. I prefer to forget about Ryan, as he had no redeeming qualities that I could ever see.

He’s now a jewelry maker in California. The one piece I remember my brother talking about was a ring Ryan made out of fishhooks. You could put it on, but try to take it off and it would rip your finger to shreds. That’s all you need to know about Ryan.

Big Bad Billy and my brother became friends early in grade school and were inseparable pretty much their whole lives until my brother moved to Arizona. The really scary part is Billy is now a cop! But I get ahead of myself…

Billy was bad. He was a good guy underneath, which we’ll get to later, but you better not fuck with him because you WILL get hurt. Everyone was scared of him. He broke someone’s nose in grade school because they insulted him or one of his friends, he was on the football team in high school and I think got in trouble for vicious tackles, and he was basically one big bad ass. But since I was his best friend’s sister, he was cool with me. I have no doubt that had anyone tried to mess with me, he would have killed them. Oh wait…there was one time in grade school when this punk Jesse was trying to mess with me and I made the mistake of telling my brother and Billy about it. In 5 minutes Billy had a baseball bat in his hand and was asking for Jesse’s address. I barely stopped him from destroying the kid.

It was kind of nice in high school, since the halls were super crowded but it was like the red sea when Billy was in the hallway – everyone instincively gave him a wide berth. And when he passed me in the hall, he gave me a head nod and a ‘what’s up?’ look. Therefore, I was untouchable as well. Not that a) I couldn’t have taken care of myself or b) I had any enemies, but it was still sort of a secure feeling.

So the point being, Billy was always at our house. He would even add food items to our grocery list, and my dad would buy whatever was on there. For a while I was angry that we were basically supporting him, feeding him – and we didn’t have any money so it was a sore spot for me.

The other part of this story is my friends would always drop by unexpectedly. During the summer my friend Matt would drive past my house on his way home from work around 1am, and if he saw my bedroom light on he would knock on my window, and I would come out and we’d head to Denny’s for a few hours. My best friend Sadaf came over all the time too. We didn’t spend all that much time at my house because it was small and messy and we didn’t want to disturb my dad, so mostly she just came to pick me up so we could go to her house, as I didn’t have a car.

I had dinner with Sadaf the other night, and it was so nice, it was like being home again. When I’m around her I am struck by such vivid memories of high school and my house and my dad. I still remember when she came to my dad’s funeral with her mom, and her mom wouldn’t go to the cemetary because it’s against their religion somehow, but Sadaf said nothing would keep her from being by my side during that difficult time. She’s right, we’re more than friends – we’re family.

This wandering story is eventually heading somewhere. At dinner Sadaf told me that one day she stopped by my house, but I wasn’t home. Big Bad Billy answered the door. She asked if I was home, and he said no. My brother wasn’t home either, so she asked the obvious, “So why are you here?”

His answer floored me, in a way. This kid was known to most people as a bully, a bad seed, someone to stay away from. So why was he alone in our house – well, my dad was there, but why was he hanging out without my brother or me being home?

“I know Matthew is working right now, and his dad gets hungry around now. I know his dad can’t get up to get himself food, so rather than have him sit there and wait for Matthew to get home, I come over to give him food and tea when he’s hungry, and help him to the bathroom and stuff.”

He treated my dad like his own. We took care of Billy, at least food-wise, for a long time. And he repaid us all in full by being a solid, decent human being and taking care of my dad when my dad wasn’t able to take care of himself.

That kindness, that selflessness, breaks my heart a little bit (in a good way) and makes me tear up every time I think of it. It reminds me that even though with terrorists and everything else that make the world seem like it’s going to hell in a handbasket, there is still pure goodness and kindness out there.

And we shouldn’t take that for granted.

Billy wanted to be a pallbearer at my dad’s funeral, and I wish he could have been. But my uncle wanted to do it, so Billy graciously let him. Even though I knew it would have meant a lot to Billy, and my dad, for him to have done it.

(Note: This post is mainly for Mary Ann’s benefit)

I had this crazy, terrible, disturbing dream last night which tells me I watch way too much CSI way too close to bedtime.

Anyway the long and short of it is, Aaron and I were fugitives on the run, and we had to figure out where to go to escape. Out of the country seemed the only plausible solution, the question was where (and also how we got there without passports since obviously the authorities would be looking for us).

I could only think of one place, and I kept repeating over and over, “We have to go to Belize! It’s the only safe place! They let fugitives enter the country and stay there with no problem! We’ll be completely fine there!”

The Dog Whisperer is my new latest obsession. And no, we don’t have a dog. But I freaking love this show. True, he advocates basically the same techniques in every episode, for every behavioral problem the dog has – you must be dominant, and the dog must always be in a calm-submissive state.

I hope it will be useful since I do want a dog eventually, and I must have a well trained dog. I want my dog to heel, and kill on demand. And it’s interesting to see the root causes for why the dogs are misbehaving. It’s something to keep in mind for what NOT to do during training.

Why do I feel like this show is preparing me for motherhood as well?

Cesar, the host, made me realize why animals love Aaron so much. They are very similar in that they both give off this sense of calm. We held a kitten in the pet store (damn i wanted that cat) and the cat loved Aaron immediately, and I realized it’s most likely because Aaron is just so calm and in control at all times. It’s incredibly soothing. It’s why I can be having the worst day of my life, be completely pissed off at everyone and everything in the world, and after two minutes of being in Aaron’s arms I’m completely recovered and calm. He is just so wonderfully soothing.

So after much, MUCH deliberation and discussion, a group of us ended up at Cafe Deluxe for happy hour tonight. I was especially pleased since it was half price bottle of wine night! Affordable pinot noir, who knew?!

Anyway, the four of us – Amy, MaD and me – had a nice time chatting and enjoying the cheap wine and half price appetizers. I even enjoyed the glass of Sauvignon Blanc! And I don’t like white wine. All in all a good night, eh?

But wait…it gets better.

I arrived home expecting to find my love, who had stayed home, on the couch playing video games. Well, I did. But what I didn’t expect was to arrive home to a house smelling of freshly baked chocolate cake.

Yes, it’s true! I would not lie about something as sacrosanct as chocolate.

And Aaron made it for me! From scratch!

But wait, it gets even better.

All of the dishes were clean.

Not just the kitchenaid mixer bowl. Not just the spatula. Not just the dishes in the dishwasher I had set to wash this morning. The fucking counter was wiped down and clean!!

Do I love this man? You know I do!!!

I got an email today about our 10 year high school reunion, happening in Chicago in October.

I mean, I knew it was coming. But still – seeing it all laid out on a flyer made it seem so much more….imminent.

They sent out a spreadsheet listing everyone in our class, since they needed to fill in missing contact information.

Wow. I could not believe how many people still lived in the very same town they grew up in. Most people seemed to have stayed that local, or gone as far as Chicago. I did see a few people in DC – no one I have any interest in contacting, however. And I was so happy to see Kate (déchiré!!) is living in Paris. Hmmm I’ll be more happy if I can rekindle a friendship with her at the reunion so Aaron and I can have a free place to stay in Paris…look for an email from me, Kate!

I haven’t had a real nemesis since high school. Sure, I’ve claimed a nemesis or two here and there at various jobs, but it wasn’t truly as antagonistic a relationship as it was made out to be. Well, there IS Catty Whore, whom I’m sure if for some reason did re-enter my life, would become a true nemesis. White pants? Meet red wine. Oops!! Did I do that??

Anyway. Reading down that list of names and seeing two nemeses pop up, I was instantly filled with a deep seated loathing for them, just as I remember feeling it back in high school. And then I had to laugh because the email address for the one girl was something like ‘guchigirl@whatever’. Guchi Girl? Did she mean Gucci Girl? Is she into high fashion and can’t even spell it? It’s funny because I remember Rita and I trying to trick her into eating a breath mint because her breath was so stank we couldn’t take it. She wouldn’t do it though!! She gave us a dirty look and said, “I know what you’re trying to do, and it won’t work!” Heaven forbid we try to HELP you (ok, mostly ourselves) but way to put a stop to THAT madness.

And the other girl. Thin, blonde, rich, later becoming a whore, my nemesis since 7th grade. And for NO reason. I didn’t even know who she was when she started trying to fuck with me. She was in the cool clique in Jr High – you were either in the cool circle, or WAY outside. My friends and I were WAY outside, which I was more than happy with. Anyway she initiated many ridiculous interactions in Jr High which at the time I didn’t really react to since they were so – laughable. I didn’t even know her. Well that and I had already gotten in trouble for ‘beating up’ another girl, so I couldn’t really get back at her physically. Oh, but I developed a loathing.

I guess she got tired of her petty antics by high school, since she ignored me completely there, but I never stopped hating her. And then after high school she got fat. HA!!! I was so happy about that.

I hope Aaron keeps me away from the red wine at the reunion – I can be so clumsy sometimes!

Who’s Your Daddy?
I Love My Sex

Those are three of my favorite new songs. Great to work out to!

Aaron and I hit up the wine festival this weekend. It was in the town next to us, which was so convenient. All my friends ended up bailing but we met up with one of his friends, and her boyfriend and their friends. They brought a blanket and picnic which was nice. We got there two hours before them and just went hardcore tasting – both wine and cheese. I’m still not a big fan of Virginian wine, but I did buy 4 bottles. Anything Aaron remotely liked, I snagged. It’s rare that he actually enjoys wine. Well, wine that doesn’t cost a fortune. And I’m cheap so I never buy that stuff. At least festival prices weren’t that bad!

Of course it was overcast most of the day but for the half hour the sun was out, we didn’t have lotion on, so we got some major sun. Well, not too bad, but bad enough. I’m so freaking scared of the sun now, it’s insane.

Work has been really busy lately – plus I signed an agreement saying I wouldn’t blog at work – so I probably won’t write as much lately.

Alright, stop crying – I’ll try to post from home!

We also saw The Break Up which was pretty good. I’m not sure I can believe that anyone would actually act the way the couple in the movie did – but it was based on….someone…breaking up with Joey Lauren Adams in real life, I think I read somewhere. So I guess people are crazy! Or at least, actors.

I had a phone call from my sister after she had seen the Da Vinci Code, I guess trying to get me to argue with her about it, since I’m Catholic and she’s – agnostic or atheist, or whatever. My favorite line of hers was “I totally believe the movie over the Bible!”

I guess that’s what the church was afraid of. I can understand if you look at the Bible, read it, read some history, do some research, and then say, I think this is crap. But to go to a movie, an admitted work of fiction , and then say, “Yes, I believe this is the truth!” I think that’s more ignorant than people who believe the Bible because they have faith. At least someone is saying “This is true” about the Bible versus the movie where everyone is saying “This is a lie” – why on earth would you be proud of believing in the lie? You don’t actually have to believe in either you know!!!