tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

Spring Street
by Dar Williams

I’m sorry that I left you
With your questions all alone
But I was too happy driving
And too angry to drive home
I was thinking about the easy courage
Of my distant friends
They said I could let this bridge wash out
And never make amends

Can I blow this small town
Make a big sound
Like the star of a film noir postcard
Can I just forget the frames I shared with you

And I can’t believe what they’re saying
They’re saying I can change my mind
Start over on spring street
I’m welcome anytime

Well there are spring street storefront daisies
Floating on their neon stems
There are new shirts on the clothes racks
Should I feel like one of them
I can find a small apartment
Where a struggling artist died
And pretend because I pay the rent
I know that pain inside

Yeah, let’s watch the tour bus stop and tell us
Here’s the scene of a spring green life dream
Take the best part
Write it in your caffeine diary

And I can’t believe what they’re saying
They’re saying I can leave tonight
Start over on spring street
I’m welcome anytime

This year april had a blizzard
Just to show she did not care
And the new dead leaves
They made the trees look like children with gray hair
But I’ll push myself up through the dirt
And shake my petals free
I’m resolved to being born
And so resigned to bravery

Yeah the one who leaves this also grieves this
Too much rain on a prairie flood plain
Houses floating, love is like that
We built on the river

And that’s to say, yeah I’m leaving
But I don’t have to go there
I don’t have to go to spring street
’cause it’s spring everywhere . . .

Leather
by Tori Amos

Look I’m standing naked before you
Don’t you want more than my sex
I can scream as loud as your last one
But I can’t claim innocence

Oh God could it be the weather
Oh God why am I here
If love isn’t forever
And it’s not the weather
Hand me my leather

I could just pretend that you love me
The night would lose all sense of fear
But why do I need you to love me
When you can’t hold what I hold dear

Oh God could it be the weather
Oh God why am I here
If love isn’t forever
And it’s not the weather
Hand me my leather

I almost ran over an angel
He had a nice big fat cigar
’in a sense’ he said ’you’re alone here
So if you jump you best jump far

Oh God could it be the weather
Oh God why am I here
If love isn’t forever
And it’s not the weather

Oh God could it be the weather
Oh God it’s all very clear
If love isn’t forever
And it’s not the weather
Hand me my leather

there is such a glory, a pure joy, in screaming along to this song at the top of your lungs. picture it. it’s your first semester in college and you just found out your boyfriend who went to a different college than you has met someone at his school that he wants to be with.

or, whatever situation applies to you. this is the quintessential angry that you lost love song.
**********************************

Untouchable Face
by Ani DiFranco

think i’m going for a walk now
i feel a little unsteady
i don’t want nobody to follow me
except maybe you
i could make you happy you know
if you weren’t already
i could do a lot of things
and i do

tell you the truth i prefer
the worst of you
too bad you had to have a better half
she’s not really my type
but i think you two are forever
and i hate to say it but
you’re perfect together

so fuck you
and your untouchable face
and fuck you
for existing in the first place
and who am i
that i should be vying for your touch
and who am i
i bet you can’t even tell me that much

two-thirty in the morning
and my gas tank will be empty soon
neon sign on the horizon
rubbing elbows with the moon
a safe haven of sleepless
where the deep fryer’s always on
radio is counting down
the top 20 country songs
and out on the porch the fly strip is
waving like a flag in the wind
you know, i don’t look forward
to seeing you again soon
you’ll look like a photograph of yourself
taken from far far away
and i won’t know what to do
and i won’t know what to say

except fuck you
and your untouchable face
and fuck you
for existing in the first place
and who am i
that i should be vying for your touch
and who am i
i bet you can’t even tell me that much

i see you and i’m so perplexed
what was i thinking
what will i think of next
where can i hide
in the back room there’s a lamp
that hangs over the pool table
and when the fan is on it swings
gently side to side
there’s a changing constellation
of balls as we are playing
i see orion and say nothing
the only thing i can think of saying

is fuck you
and your untouchable face
and fuck you
for existing in the first place
and who am i
that i should be vying for your touch
and who am i
i bet you can’t even tell me that much

so eddie ‘tagged’ me with this. i’m still confused as to the point, but oh well. that’s eddie….

1. What is the total volume of music you own?

I have 20 gigs filled on my iPod and I don’t record them at high quality so they don’t take up as much room. I think at one point I counted 500 cds….that will be more now of course.

2. What’s the last CD you bought?

Physical cd? The last one I received from Amazon was Going Somewhere by Colin Hay. But I ordered it ages ago and it only just shipped due to the other book I bought at the time….hmmm on iTunes I just bought Liam Lynch, the Caesars, the new Garbage, and the new Coldplay.

3. What song is playing right now?

United States of Whatever by Liam Lynch. lol.

4. What 5 songs do I listen to a lot?

ha. 5? did you say, 5? I listen to the whole Eric Hutchinson cd — all of his songs are so great. Some Devil by DMB is constantly on repeat. As is the entire Rosie Thomas When We Were Small cd. Any and all Elliot Smith is usually in my playlist.

5. What 5 people will I pose these questions to?

no one. i don’t believe in chains for the most part. although of the 5 people that read this blog, if any of you reads this and feels like copying it, please do.

Happy
by Liam Lynch

I am really special cuz there’s only one of me
look at my smile, I’m so damn happy, the people are jealous of me
when I’m sad and lonely, I like to sing this song
it cheers me up and shows me that I won’t be sad for long

oh oh oh I’m so happy, I can barely breathe
puppy dogs and sugar frogs and kittens, baby teeth
watch out all you mothers, I’m happy as hardcore
happy as a coupon for a $20 whore

I’m really happy, I’m sugar coated me,
happy, good, anger, bad, that’s my philosophy

Spoken: I can’t do this, man. I’m not happy.

I am really special, cuz there’s only one of me
Look at my smile, I’m so damn happy, the people are jealous of me
These are my lovehandles, and this is my spout,
but if you tip me over, then mama said knock you out

I am special, I am happy, I am gonna heave
welcome to my happy world, now get your shit and leave
I am happy, I am good, I am…

Spoken: I’m Outta Here! Screw You!

Austin: How are you?

Me: My throat still hurts. Shouldn’t the symptoms stop after being on antibiotics for a few days?

Austin: Depends on what you have, I guess.

Me: I’m starting to think it’s cancer.

Austin: Of course, because that’s the first logical leap you should make.

roflmao.

Here’s another great broken hearted song, which may be hard to locate for some, so here are the lyrics.

Just Like Jim Brown (She Is History)
by Pierce Pettis

She walked away just like Jim Brown
When he laid that football down
And walked away because he could
All the way to Hollywood

She walked away so sure and fast
Into her future, into my past
Just like I should have known she would
It was just too true to be good

She is history, let her go
We are all in this together,
We are all in this alone
She is history, let her go
We are all in this together,
We are all in this alone

An axle spins this world around
It’s rolling over rocky ground
There’s no shock absorbers on that wheel
For us to ease the way it feels

She really caught me off my guard
Sometimes those bumps can hit you hard
There’s no shock absorbers on that wheel
Well at least this way we know it’s real.

She is history, let her go
We are all in this together,
We are all in this alone
She is history, oh let her go
We are all in this together,
We are all in this alone.

Jim Brown was something, that’s a fact
The all time greatest running back
But Jim knew something fools don’t know
He knew when it was time to go.

And she is history, let her go
We are all in this together,
We are all in this alone
She is history, oh let her go
We are all in this together,
We are all in this alone
We are all in this together,
We are all in this alone.

Adia I do believe I failed you
Adia I know I let you down
Don’t you know I tried so hard
To love you in my way
It’s easy let it go…
Adia I’m empty since you left me
Trying to find a way to carry on
I search myself and everyone
To see where we went wrong
’cause there’s no one left to finger
There’s no one here to blame
There’s no one left to talk to, honey
And there ain’t no one to buy our innocence
’cause we are born innocent
Believe me adia, we are still innocent
It’s easy, we all falter
Does it matter?
Adia I thought that we could make it
But I know I can’t change the way you feel
I leave you with your misery
A friend who won’t betray
I pull you from your tower
I take away your pain
And show you all the beauty you possess
If you’d only let yourself believe that
We are born innocent
Believe me adia, we are still innocent
It’s easy, we all falter, does it matter?
Believe me adia, we are still innocent
’cause we are born innocent
Adia we are still innocent
It’s easy, we all falter … but does it matter?

I have a playlist in my iPod called “Sadness”. These are from there. If you are broken hearted, have a listen.

Last Goodbye – Jeff Buckley
Rain – Patty Griffin
Because I Told You So – Jonatha Brooke
Hallelujah – Jeff Buckley
Untouchable Face – Ani DiFranco
Break Your Heart – Barenaked Ladies
Either Way – Guster
Landslide – Fleetwood Mac
Some Devil – DMB
Stay or Leave – DMB
Other Side – David Gray
Say Hello, Wave Goodbye – David Gray
Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered – Ella Fitzgerald
Spring Street – Dar Williams
Crippled Bird – Dolly Parton
Somebody That I Used To Know – Elliot Smith
Alameda – Elliot Smith
Waltz #2 (I’m Never Gonna Know You Now But I’m Gonna Love You Anyhow) – Elliot Smith
I Just Don’t Think I’ll Ever Get Over You – Colin Hay
Disintegration – The Cure
Out of Reach – Gabrielle
Let Him Fly – Patty Griffin
Farewell – Rosie Thomas
Wedding Day – Rosie Thomas
Bicycle Tricycle – Rosie Thomas
Please Do Not Let Me Go – Ryan Adams
Harder Now That It’s Over – Ryan Adams

Ok this is just the beginning but I’m hungry and there are too many good songs out there. But at least read the words if you don’t have the songs.

My tennis coach, Mike, said that when we were running the HJO tennis tournament one summer. He was so nice and enthusiastic to the girls and their parents, and then he busted that out once when one of the doubles teams asked me to be a line judge. A freaking line judge for a girls 12s doubles match. I wanted to vomit too. Talk about ping pong.

I have a lot of funny stories about him, actually. He is the origin of “bring it!” for me. This one 14 year old boy was playing a match and his dad was being a total tennis father jackass. He kept yelling at the poor kid and being loud and obnoxious. Then the coke machine ate his 50 cents (which we are not responsible for) and he started yelling at Mike to get his money back. Mike was sitting at a little desk down the way from the coke machine and I can’t remember exactly waht the father yelled but it was something like, “If you don’t get me my 50 cents back I’m going to come over there and take it from you!” Total psycho, right?

So Mike, who is the nicest person (at least he appears that way to the people paying him, but he can be pretty biting and sarcastic), stands up from the desk and yells in this really deep voice with anger in his eyes, “BRING IT!”

It was so awesome. Everybody looked at him and was like, where the fuck did that come from?

He ended up having to give the kid a point penalty because his dad was an asshole. Poor kid.

Anyway what I really wanted to talk about was the whole pre-shot ritual that coaches always try to instill in you. In tennis, it’s before the serve. In golf, it’s before every shot. They tell you to do the same pre-shot setup before every shot. Good idea in theory, but this really fucks with someone who has OCD.

Like me.

Now I have to bounce the damn tennis ball exactly 3 times, and I have to spin my racket a certain number of times before I hit a serve. And they have to be good bounces too, solid. Oh and I have to hit the ball with my racket into my hand a few times too.

If I don’t do that, I feel like I’m going to miss the serve. It fucks with my head.

Although I did play on Monday night and while I played like crap, pushed my forehand all over the place, I was very happy with my mental game. It’s the first time I didn’t break down mentally in a match, ever. And I also didn’t push my second serve, which I think is because I didn’t lose it mentally. When I lose it mentally, I compensate by pushing my second serve just to make sure it goes in, which is stupid. So I finally kept it all together in my head. Even though it was only one set, it was still a victory to me.